When I'm down...I start to think. Think about...everything. Why is the world how it is? Is there a reason for my existance? Do people even like me? Or are they just pretending to, just to get something from me? I start to think about all those mistakes I have made.... They hurt..everytime. Those thoughts will never go away..yet I can block them out for sometime. But then...something turns me down, and everything that I had blocked out...just comes straight back to my mind. Not just certain things, not just things that had recently gotten me down, but everything I have done wrong this year and then some. I hate all of this thinking... It drives me insane. To make it go away, I blast music in my ears... Sadly, then I feel even more pain.. Headaches...My right ear always hurts...I just don't know what to do anymore.. I wish there was a way to erase memories... I don't want these memories...They hurt.. When I think about them...all I want to do is cry...thinking 'Why did this have to happen to me? What the hell did I do to deserve this?' I just don't understand.. Should I cease my existance? Make all of these feelings go away... Nobody wants me... I feel cold.....
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