It kills me to talk about this sometimes. I start talking about it and break down crying thinking "what if this happens again?" But I must say something, so here it is: When I was younger, there was a difficult time that most people i know don't know. My best friend of 15 years, just recently found out. I guess I never told her. But when i was in kindergarten, going to school everyday, my parents were fighting, bad. So bad that they ended up splitting and almost getting a divorce. I remember the biggest fight. I had just gotten out of the tub, still in a towel and everything, my dad barged into the house, and i believe he was trying to get me and cameron. My grama and uncle mickey I believe were the ones that came in trying to help and solve this issue before anyone got hurt. I think that my grama drug me and my brother out of the house in Cando. They didn't want us to see this. Another time i remember them fighting was when we were sitting in the car, my mom was outside, in my grama's drive way. She was crying. I remember my grama trying to calm her down. (the grama i speak of is my dads mom). She was telling her to stop being rediculous and that my dad cared about her. My mom wasnt taking it. My dad wasnt making matters better. The last time around this time that i remember them fighting, was when they were in the kitchen, i was terrified. They had been fighting over who knows what but my mom was crying really bad. My dad wouldnt stop yelling... My mom got a new boyfriend. I don't exactly remember his name very well, but hey I was 5, give me some respect. I think that it may be Kevin, but I cant remember. I just know that he had a large forehead, black hair. Now that I think about it, he kind of has a stalker/rapist look to him, but from what I remember, he was nice. He was from Pennsylvania. I only remember that becuase we had made jokes about pencils. He said that we were going to move there eventually, and go to Chuckie Cheese. Cameron was 3 and I was 5 so of course that would drag us in. That all happened when my mom decided to move to Minot with him. We lived in a Condo like thing close to the bowling ally. It was winter. It was icy. The stairs were insanely slippery and bad. I remember living there so well. The living room was big, pretty. With a huge tv. It was hooked onto the most beautiful kitchen ive seen, it had an island i think. Glass cubboards(sp?), i think. Down the hallway, I only remembered my room. It was pink, just like my room in Cando. Cando, the place I grew up for 8 years, and miserably had to move, leaving my best friend behind. My dad had got a new girl friend too. All I remember was that she was blonde. Pretty. One night i specifically reember. We were sitting at my gramas house and we were listening to the music... My dad always played this one song... I still can't listen to it to this day. It's Stan-Eminem. It goes:
My tear's gone cold, I'm wondering why...
I got out of bed at all.
The morning rain clouds up my window..
and I can't see at all
And even if I could it'd all be gray,
but your picture on my wall
It reminds me, that it's not so bad,
it's not so bad..
My grama told the judge not to allow them to split me and Cameron up. That is the reason that my parents are together to this day. If she wouldn't have said anything, who knows where I would have ended up. They fight still. Quite bad sometimes. But I guess that's what you've got to live with, right?
